What-if a pumpkin-headed demon eating an ice cream cone came quietly walking down the middle of Southwest Boulevard? What-if a man in a bowler hat walked by with a junkie on a leash?
If I wasn't too tired, sometimes my mind could conjure up some quiet horror better than any F/X house on the planet. I think for me, there's nothing more unsettling than a subtle horror--or a "pedestrian" one. The idea of a mutant hillbilly with chainsaw hands is scary, no doubt. I mean, I don't want to run into him--but the idea of him pushing a flower cart calmly through a deserted street is scarier to me than if he were trying to chop my head off.
This concept is best exemplified in Stanley Kubrick's THE SHINING. There's all sorts of scary stuff in THE SHINING, but the part that freaks me out the most (to this day) is when one of the characters is running around the Overlook hotel and they catch a glimpse of this fucked-out scene:
These two "ghosts" (or whatever) are on screen for less than 5 seconds, but they're way scarier than anything else in the movie. Why? Because they don't run out and try to kill anyone. They act as though they're spending a typical evening alone together...you know, just wearing the dog costume in the abandoned hotel.
What? Like you've never done that.
The hotel is a normal setting, and suddenly in the midst of this normal setting there is this bizarre couple. Who they are and what they're doing are a mystery. They are gone as quickly as they arrive. There is no explanation. There is nothing particularly threatening about them--except that they exist.
I bring ALL of this up because I read a story over at the Daily Mail's website about a guy who was using the street view of Google Maps to find his local optometrist. Instead of his doctor's office, however, this is what he saw:
They're calling this whacked-out fellow "horseboy."
If I was driving along in the UK, and I saw that thing on the side of the road I WOULD PLOW MY CAR RIGHT INTO THE NEAREST TREE. That would be it for me, game over man. What I love about it is the freakish absurdity of the whole situation:
Man either builds or buys a horse head mask. Man waits for Google car to come zooming by. And then what?
Surely he didn't expect to get rich or famous by doing this. I'm talking about it and the British papers are as well, but this person hasn't come forward. He hasn't sought the spotlight.
This was the act of a very strange mind.
So while the identity of the so-called "horseboy" is not known, here's what I do know: if I'd seen that thing during one of my overnight shifts I'd have crapped my pants. 100% guaranteed.
