2) Was it really a good idea to, apparently, eat such a hearty meal before coming to shop at a major retailer?
3) If you are old and/or senile do you have someone to monitor you while in public?
4) If this sort of thing happens on a regular basis and you can expect such an event, why do you not wear protective diapers?
5) Honestly, how could you take the time to check for onlookers and then pull down your pants but not have time to get to the restroom ten yards away?
6) Did you wipe afterwards? If so, should we have looked for an empty, stolen package of toilet paper, too?
7) If no toilet paper was stolen, should shoppers beware any chocolate-colored blouses in that area?
8) After you finished, did you have to leave, or did you continue shopping?
9) If you're a teenage prankster, don't you have anything better to do, like get someone pregnant in the backseat of an automobile or cook crystal meth in your parents' basement?
10) Again, if you're a prankster, do you realize that we're going to search through our extensive security footage and find you, and then many jokes will be shared at your expense, kind of like what's happening right now?
2 comments:
Sadly, this behavior is not confined solely to retail stores. We have had multiple people do that in the library where I work. Isn't working with the public fantastic? :)
*deep sigh of resignation*
In sixty years, we'll be living in a real-world version of the film "Idiocracy".
Here's to hoping I stroke out before that.
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