Thank You for Being a Friend

It was a hot summer night, and my sister and I were taking part in our usual late-night routine. Hunkered down on the floor of my bedroom, we sprawled out onto the floor with our pillows and blankets. Staring up at my thirteen-inch television set, we waited for MASH to come on, little did we know what we were about to see…

Growing up in the 1970’s, when the show was new, my father would be ridiculed at school because he was one of the few kids who didn’t watch MASH. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to—he did—it was that his parents came from an older generation and wanted nothing to do with it.

Since this was in the ear BEFORE kids had TV sets in their bedrooms, my poor father grew-up missing out on one of the era’s greatest television achievements (with the invention of Saturday Night Live being the second). If you’ve never seen MASH, it’s a show about medical officers during the Korean War (1950’s) however the show was REALLY about the Vietnam War (which was still going on when the show first aired).
Sometime after it went off the air, my grandparents developed a love for MASH when it went into syndication. So, whenever my family would go and visit them on Sundays we’d often sit and eat Kentucky Fried Chicken—and watch MASH. My Dad adores this show, and it became a regular part of our lives to watch it with him, late at night on one of the local channels during the weekend.

We’d sit up late, and watch MASH. My dad would drink beer and we’d all eat peanuts. Then one day, ABC started putting MASH on weeknights after the ten o’clock news. We were ecstatic. This was in the pre-TV-on-DVD days, so this was our only way to see this show. Once summer began, we’d stay up late and watch MASH all by ourselves. Our Dad worked an overnight shift, and my Mom would have to go to bed fairly early…but my sister and I could certainly stay up late for MASH.

We were in TV heaven for a few months, and then something happened.

I can remember that night, just like it was yesterday. It started off like any other, first we snuggled up on the floor and patiently waited for the news to end. Then a repeat of Roseanne came on (a show which we tolerated but didn’t really feel anything for). After that it was two episodes of MASH before it was time for bed.

But that night, once Roseanne’s credits ended, instead of the faded green hills of Korea (really sunny California standing in for Korea, as I would learn later) my sister Amber and I were greeted with an aerial view of…sunny Florida?

And then the title appeared: “The Golden Girls.”

What the hell was this? Old ladies? Where was Hawkeye and Frank Burns?

Needless to say we were pissed and promptly shut the TV off. The next day we scanned the TV schedule in the newspaper and saw that rather than show back-to-back episodes of MASH, our ABC affiliate was going to show one episode of this thing called “The Golden Girls.”

I’ve always been freaked out by old people, so this show scared me at first. But, being lazy children, we started to just sit through The Golden Girls. I guess we couldn’t think of anything better to do for 30 minutes.

I can’t remember exactly how long it took, but eventually our loathing melted away. Pretty soon we both secretly liked the show. Of course, neither of us would dare admit it to the other. Instead we laughed, pretending that we were making fun of it—but we weren’t laughing at it. We were laughing with it.

Recently, before we pulled the plug on our cable (it’s too expensive and my wife and I don’t watch TV) I caught a Golden Girls marathon on Lifetime. The show surprisingly still made me laugh. But as an adult I’m not only shocked that someone like me (young, male) can find so much to enjoy in a show about four 60+ year old women living together in Florida—I’m shocked that such a show EVEN GOT ON THE AIR.

TV like all forms of American popular entertainment has always been geared towards young people. If you don’t look a certain way or if you’re over a certain age…you’re almost always excluded. Women and men over 35 aren’t very attractive to advertisers. And yet this show was put on the air, was a success, and is loved by many to this very day.

This tells me a couple of things. First off, it tells me that funny is funny regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or age. Secondly, it tells me that corporate American really is as stupid as everyone says it is. There are numerous instances of HUGE success stories that fly in the face of their “conventional wisdom,” and yet they still keep making the same “safe” choices year in and year out.

Where is our show about old women today? There is no show like that. They have Gossip Girl and Secret Life of the American Teenager, but nothing for or about anyone over the age of 30. This is not only stupid, but probably the reason why TV is so crappy (and why I don’t have cable). As the baby boomers grow even older, this huge “golden years” population is not being represented in our popular culture. I don’t know about you, but I don’t tend to watch TV I can’t relate to (on at least some level). The TV Executives are going to lose a pretty big part of their viewing public, I predict (at least, even bigger than what they’ve ALREADY lost).

Anyway, when the subject of “good” TV comes up, it’s easy to point to a show like MASH and say “that was a good show.” It was a good show, it was well-written and daring. And yet, a show like The Golden Girls is almost just as daring. Imagine the meeting for both shows.

“How about a comedy about the Korean War?”

Now with shows like McHale’s Navy and Hogan’s Heroes having kinda/sort gone that route, I can see how MASH was green-lit. Even though MASH was more of a drama/comedy mix, there was still a precedent for war-themed comedy shows.

But think about the pitch for the The Golden Girls: “I want to make a show about four old ladies…hanging out together…one is a sexaholic…”

I bet you could a PIN DROP at that meeting.

So what I’m saying is: I think America needs another show about over-sexed old ladies. Thank you.