Lameness Killed the YouTube Star

So a long time ago, I had this blog that was all about my boring life. One of the things that I did on it (for a while at least) was a Friday Video Blog.

What this means: I have a shit-ton of videos posted on YouTube.

Like all fads/crazes, I got over my "video" phase and moved onto greener pastures (like this blog). That said, like all things on the internet (*Pam Anderson's Sex-Tape*) these videos continue to live a life of their own...one beyond anything I could have originally imagined. Whenever I randomly log-in and peek at my YouTube account, I'm always shocked at what is racking up the hits...and what isn't.

Thus, behold:

THE VIDEOS THAT ARE DOING THINGS I'D NEVER EXPECTED...

1. "The Bubble Tea Episode"



This video resulted in the first (and only) time a stranger ever said to me "I know you, you're THAT guy from the Internet!" My wife introduced me to Bubble Tea shortly after we met, and this video was shot after a trip to buy some. A few weeks later, when we returned to store, the kids working the counter recognized me from this video. It was very creepy (don't get famous kids, it sucks).

2. "Natural Bridge Walk"



What blows my mind about this video is that:

A). I thought it necessary to post it online (seriously, nothing happens--me and my future wife cross the street)

and

B). Nearly 500 people have decided to watch this (seriously, nothing happens--me and my future wife cross the street). Now maybe 500 people didn't watch it, maybe 100 people watched it 5 times...that's even more disturbing!!!

3. "Apples in Stereo--"Energy" Live"



I love The Apples in Stereo. This video was shot the day after one of their concerts (which is why I was so tired when I filmed it). The hilarious part was edited out, after they played this song, some college-kid approached them and asked if he could film them...which I had not done. I'm including it here because I like the song (so sue me!).

4. "Video Blog #1"



This video, my first ever video blog (look how young I look!), was used in an online article of something called THE AMERICAN COMMUNICATION JOURNAL. I found out about this when a kid messaged me that the article was used in an assignment for one of his Communications classes. The article is entitled "Exploring the Gender Divide On YouTube" and in it they refer to me as "indoor male (IM)" which I found both hilarious and insulting.

This is what they said of me:

"Similarly, in the second video, indoor male (IM), the vlogger presents his viewers with a brief update on his daily life. He states what he has been doing for the past week, mainly writing, as well as his plans for the next few days: going to the movie theatre, and taking his fiancé’s dog to obedience class. Like the woman, he too is vlogging from his bedroom. He is lying down on his bed, addressing the camera. The furnishings in his room appear sparse in comparison to the woman’s room. There are a few pictures arranged on the back wall of his room. Nothing is hung on the beige, concrete side wall. His room appears to be a university dorm room."

"Vlogger"? Seriously Professor, who the hell uses this term? No one.

*Sigh*

The article goes on to say that when surveyed, people preferred some other jack-offs video to mine--because...wait for it...he filmed his outside!!!

*makes jacking-off motion with hand*

Anyone wishing to kill a few brain-cells should go chug a bottle of paint thinner...or you can attempt to read this piece of shit article.

Oh and by the way, I did go to the Loop and see DR. STRANGELOVE that night...with Mike! I can't believe he still talks to me. Way to hang in there champ.

AND LASTLY...

There are videos, and then there are LEGENDS. Some of my most popular videos are of The Apples in Stereo and this other band Dr. Dog (whose performances I filmed live at Vintage Vinyl, the world's most kick-ass record store). These videos have more views than say, "Natural Bridge Walk"'s 457 total "hits"...these have around 6,000+ views. Pretty successful for a guy with no friends, right???

Well those videos are small potatoes compared to my BIGGEST, MOST VIEWED video of ALL TIME:

5. "Paradise City Axl Rose Dance Viral Video"



Who'd have thought that my Dad, a wife-beater, and a half-dead Christmas tree would go so well with Guns 'N Roses classic "Paradise City"?

My only regret? Not filming the whole damn song! Warner Brothers recording label once sent me a vaguely threatening email about the use of GNR's music, but so far they've allowed the video to stay up.

Can you believe it's been viewed over 21,000 times? I get all kinds of crazy comments (most of them are from shitty-dudes calling my dad a retard) some in other languages. Here are a few of my favorites:

"thts not exactly how he does it and u look like a pedifile with that goofy smile on ur face"

"its supposed to be the axl rose, not the hillbilly hoe down"

"what can i say!!! dad ive told you drinking and dancing is not 4 you"

"fuck you guys thiswas kinda funny cut the dude some slack you guys have no life"

My Dad is SUPER proud of this video, too. Apparently it was even screened at his company picnic (he doesn't work for a small company either I'm worried that a lot of people may have seen this).

I sometimes think about filming a few new clips, but I don't think I could ever top this video...so why bother???