How are you? Nursing another hangover? Really. That’s pretty surprising considering you only had fourteen Long Island Ice Teas last night. Well I’m sure you’ll be up and dancing again in no time.
Which reminds me, the reason why I’m writing you is to remind you that I’m seeing Franz Ferdinand this weekend. I’m going to be wearing a blue Hawaiian print shirt, and I’ll be standing about four people deep from the stage. I hope you can find me—I don’t want a repeat of The Ting Ting’s show where it took three songs to find me. I’m not sure what I’d do if I didn’t have you stepping all over my toes—and flipping your hair at my face.
I might have to…gulp…actually watch the band perform! We wouldn’t want that, now would we?
Are you still smoking? What a silly question, of course you are. I hope you remember wear something flame-retardant, because I will. We wouldn’t want a repeat of the Vampire Weekend incident. Speaking of Vampire Weekend, are you still dating that guy I saw you with? You know, the frat-boy-looking dude with the up-turned collar and the constipated look on his face? I think you two make a cute couple—you “dance” all over my feet, sometimes spilling beer all over my shirt…and he just stands there with both hands in his pockets. Adorable.
Anyway, if you’re still together you should bring him to the Franz Ferdinand show! I’d hate to see a band without getting a nasty look whenever your gyrating ass brushes up against my hand.
Your Fellow Concertgoer,
Jason
5 comments:
FULL DISCLOSURE: the girl in the picture isn't drunk...she's just blonde...that's how they look.
I swear the only thing worse than one drunk girl at a concert is when they dance together in packs. One of these days, mark my words I will probably get in a physical altercation with one. And that little 90 pound girl who is screaming to her friend about how this is her favorite song just like she did for the last 4 songs will not even know why I am kicking her ass, because she is that stupid.
Ah, yes...talking. You bring up the people who talk ABOUT the band--what about the couple (who are obviously on a first date) who are trying to have a bullshit, non-concert related conversation?
Those people suck.
I have to say, as much as I sometimes appreciate getting to see parts of a concert I'm not able to attend, I HATE it when people sit there holding up their cameras taking video of every song. Sometimes I just want to knock their cameras out of their hands! Blerg!
Oh manI hate that! Totally. I'm always stuck behind a guy with a semi-professional camera, with a pretty large LCD screen that is BLAZING in the darkness. So annoying.
I also hate the groups of girls who take numerous photos of themsels (as a group) throughout the night. The huddle up, then FLASH! FLASH!
Yikes. I'm blind ladies...thanks.
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